Some
Poems from
The Salmon Carol Ann Duffy
Poems Selected & New 1985-1999
The
Brink of Shrieks
for S. B.
Don't
ask me how, but I've fetched up
living with him. You can laugh. It's no joke
from where I'm sitting. Up to the back teeth.
That
walk. You feel ashamed going out. So-and-so's
method of perambulation, he calls it. My arse.
Thank God for plastic hips. He'll be queueing.
And
the language. What can you say? Nothing.
Those wee stones make me want to brain him,
so they do. They're only the tip of the iceberg.
Time
who stopped? says I. Ash-grey vests,
you try cleaning them. Heartbreaking. Too many nights
lying in yon ditch, counting. God's truth. I boil.
See
him, he's not uttered a peep in weeks.
And me? I’m on the brink of shrieks.
Pilate's
Wife
Firstly,
his hands -- a woman's. Softer than mine,
with pearly nails, like shells from Galilee.
Indolent hands. Camp hands that clapped for
grapes.
Their pale, mothy touch made me flinch. Pontius.
I
longed for Rome, home, someone else. When the Nazarene
entered Jerusalem, my maid and I crept out,
bored stiff, disguised, and joined the frenzied crowd.
I tripped, clutched the bridle of an ass, looked up
and
there he was. His face? Ugly. Talented.
He looked at me. I mean he looked at me. My God.
His eyes were eyes to die for. Then he was gone,
his rough men shouldering a pathway to the gates.
The
night before his trial, I dreamt of him.
His brown hands touched me. Then it hurt.
Then blood. I saw that each tough palm was skewered
by a nail. I woke up, sweating, sexual, terrified.
Leave
Him Alone. I sent a warning note, then quickly dressed.
When I arrived, the Nazarene was crowned with thorns.
The crowd was baying for Barabas. Pilate saw me,
looked away, then carefully turned up his sleeves
and
slowly washed his useless, perfumed hands.
They seized the prophet then and dragged him out,
up to the Place of Skulls. My maid knows all the rest.
Was he God? Of course not. Pilate believed he was.
Dark
School
It
is dusk when I enter the classroom,
the last of the chalky Latin verbs going out on the
board.
I sit at a desk at the back
and dip my first real pen into blue-black ink.
My jotter is dusty pink.
I
rule a margin, one inch wide,
then write the names of the lost, the dead,
in a careful, legible list.
I memorise this, stand up,
recite it word-for-word to twenty shadowy desks.
The tall windows blacken and fill with night.
But
I can see in this blurred school,
my carved initials soft scars on the wood,
and when I open the lid of my desk
there are my books, condition fair,
my difficult lessons.
I
must not run in the corridor,
but walk at the speed of smell
to the hall, to the empty stage,
along the silent passageway to the gym
where my hands grasp the hanging rope that brushes
my face.
Dark
school. I learn well; the black paintings
in their burnt frames; all by heart --
the lightless speeches in the library,
the bleak equations, the Greek for darkness.
Above the glass roof of the chemistry lab,
the insolent, truant stars squander their light.
(Copyright
Carol Ann Duffy, 2000)
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