I Crept Out
It was half past eleven on a weeknight you were sleeping
and I thought the day was far from over but I felt it wouldn’t
have much purpose however much I stretched it if the extra hours
I wrung out didn’t involve you so I kissed your eyelids
then crept out in soft shoes and I stole this white-legged horse
for you. It wasn’t easy and ever since his restless tail’s been
flicking at the wet recesses of my eyes so you keep asking
if I’m crying but I can’t answer because I always have to creep off
to distract him from his incessant foot stamping, in case you hear it
and while you watched the evening news I crept out to feed him
the spoils from our small kitchen. I gave him grapes and seeds
and oat flakes from my palm and I sang our song to calm him
while he was eating and I’ve been busy muffling up his snortings
with fake coughs—I’ve had to take up smoking so you don’t hear him
blowing and suspect that I stole a colt and and have him stabled
in the bathroom of this two up two down brain. Some days when
I’m lonely he reaches me by neighing and it stays in my eardrums
reverberating so forgive me but at times I can’t make out a word
you’re saying and every day I get these surges of exhilaration
thinking how this chunky white-legged creature is the perfect
demonstration of how much I think you’re worth and I can’t stop
myself from visiting him, I creep out quite often now and I’m not
even missing the bits of our shared life I give him.
The Night After the Assassination
in memory of Julio Fernando Cardona murdered August 7th 2011 Mexico
And I would swallow condoms full
of this star sky and smuggle them home for you
If you’d only tell me where you live now
and if they burst in my intestines
you’ll never know
I swallowed stars for you,
that I diced the moon with razors
on the mirror of the sea and sniffed it
past watering eyes to the back caverns of my skull
just to show it to you
on the day of the dead.
The moon can hang there while
I bribe the customs guard
I’ll brave the border
with these decorations from a humid night
and the heat I hid in undergarments
and stowed between bare feet and shoes
in the first place they’ll think to look
I did it because I want it to be found.
On the day of the dead I’ll confess
I looted them
the sky the sea the stars the moon the heat the sweat
I stayed a watch for them
I stayed a watch for you
but I don’t know where any of you have gone.
Copyright © Sarah Clancy 2012