The Horridest Pub in Town
“[Mr. Carr] built a high fence and plant[ed] a row of bushes . . .
to shield his son and five daughters from the wayward trend of
the Park Hotel.” (Geoffrey Castle)
I’ve tried to bury his secret far below my heart.
But this doesn’t happen. Cannot. The dark has been told.
Each time I traipse through Beacon Hill Park
the men at the races hover like tentacles. Huge jellyfish.
They are hard.
Boys’ Own Nature Studies. Father knew I loved woods.
No dolls but a book, gift good for growing men.
But it is the grown and now bold secrets of their flesh
that have me huddled in corners desiring
sleep. And father I cannot forgive.
Still, something has told me, one day I’ll paint
these forests female to the core.
The Pink Peach Tree (after Van Gogh)
i
Some days we rise in earnest, convinced it will not come.
Your pink peach tree juts into the bluest sky.
Today is a good day to wash out clothes.
Tomorrow we can’t be sure things will rise just so.
We curse the coming on.
I wanted beauty, colours in your pink peach tree.
But in Amsterdam, all salves failing, there is nothing
romantic about it. Who cares for your starry night,
staunch and droopy sunflowers? They are Venus
Flytraps. Scratch at lungs of air.
I want for you the comfort of a loving home, slippers
slipped on your feet.
ii
Startling change of lights.
And the purpose behind it: to heal. To see things
without the blunt and ephemeral the pointillists
gave you.
Your pink peach tree is a saviour in this little space
for now.
The crowds gather in front of your sunflowers.
But I can’t bear it. Can’t take the truth in these stalks.
Your pink peach tree, Van Gogh.
Your pink peach tree.
Heads of Peasant Women in Brabant
Behind, there is nothing to run to. No field, no sky.
Warm, past verdant, flicks stone-hewn faces.
Hunkered in darkness, you’ll never speak of almond
blossoms worlds away from sober brushes.
Capped in white, red, hair desiring to hang loose,
you travel to museums. Sotheby’s auction. Private
lives. Pinned to walls, portraits record
properties of soil. Yet no fresh air infuses
any room.
Stagnant, solid, yet sure of yourselves, voices
whisper: Time, an augur, makes sense of birds
at last. Let be. As if a gunshot disturbed
their flights in fields, we sit laden. Curious to fly.
Dear women perched in public, you are part Willemina,
Van Gogh’s sister. Deemed demented. Locked in House
Veldwijk, Ermelo, forty years. Yet you are all pure
witness. Amnesty, asylum, the falconer’s gadgets held
somewhere in your reach.
You linger like springs in Nuenen.
Copyright © Stephanie McKenzie 2013